You have two cows.

At my work, some people get together and chat in English during lunch.
So, today, Mr. Aoki taught us some jokes.

Libertarian
You have two cows. They can go wherever they want and no one stops them.

Republican
You have two cows. You give one to your neighbour.

Communism
You have two cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism
You have two cows. The state takes both and sell you some milk.

Nazism
You have two cows. The state takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism
You have two cows. The state takes both, shoots one, milk the other, and then throws the milk away...

An American Corporation
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A French Corporation
You have two cows. You go on straike, organize a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.

A German Corporation
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

An Italian Corporation
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A Russian Corporation
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation
You have two cows. You worship them.

A British Corporation
You have two cows. Both are mad.

An Iraq Corporation
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are part of Democracy...

An Australian Corporation
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Greece
You don't have any cows. You remind people that all modern cows are based on the fundamentals formed in Greece thousands of years ago.

Canada
You have two cows, eh. They have full heath insurance.

General Motors
You have two cows. They are obsolete.


I thought these jokes are pretty funny. Jokes like these, you have to know politics and things going on in the world. In Japan, popular jokes are simpler.

Like this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84waO1faIGk

They just dance or make weird noise.

But we have decent jokes or kind of like stand-up comedy things too.

It's called "rakugo". Rakugo (落語 literally "fallen words") is a Japanese verbal entertainment. The lone storyteller (Rakugoka, 落語家) sits on the stage, called the Kōza (高座). Using only a paper fan (扇子, "sensu") and a small cloth (手拭, "tenugui") as props, and without standing up from the seiza sitting position, the rakugo artist depicts a long and complicated comical story. The story always involves the dialogue of two or more characters, the difference between the characters depicted only through change in pitch, tone, and a slight turn of the head.

Rakugo is not really popular among young people, but it's pretty funny. Some rakugoka go to North America and have shows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jb69FP4RxQ&feature=related

I'd love to see rakugo someday!